Asynchronous Development
“Asynchronous” is a fancy word for “out of sync.”
It’s not good or bad to be this way. It’s simply one way to experience the world. As a general rule, young people who are gifted experience uneven development across different domains of living. To illustrate this, if you imagine an average five year old you know, they probably talk, think, move, act, and handle their emotions like a typical five year old. Students who are gifted, however, are often experiencing “asynchronous” development. This five year old might act like a three year old, read like a ten year old, move like a five year old, and do math like a seven year old. That’s a lot of age ranges packed inside of one body!
It’s important to understand your own asynchronous development so you can understand misunderstandings that may arise within yourself and between others. Things like:
“I can envision the type of music I want to play. I can hear it in my head. I am frustrated because my hands aren’t big enough, and I can’t do that…. yet.”
“Oh… they expect me to act extremely mature because I can do math like I am 20. We all need to step back as a family and realize that my math ability is not tied to my emotional ability.”
Exercise:
List three things you are great at.
List three things that are hard for you.
Do you notice how “asynchronous development” could play into these differences? How do your difficulties and strengths show up in conflicts inside yourself or with others?
What could you say or do to make these conflicts better? What would you say to a friend? (“You have high expectations for yourself. That’s excellent, but realize it’s OK to be better at somethings than other things.”)
How can understanding asynchronous development help you in your relationships with your peers?
How can understanding asynchronous development help you in your relationships with your parents/teachers/caregivers?
Feel free to go through the attached chart from The Gifted Kids Workbook with your parents or caregivers:
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