Life Skill: Listening

Guiding Quotes:

“Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self.” – Dean Jackson

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." – Stephen R. Covey

"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." – Ernest Hemingway

“Speaking is only valuable when it offers something better than silence.” - Someone who really liked silence

Surprising Facts:

• In a study that analyzed adult conversations nine minutes long, in the segments recorded, the average length of silences varied from an average of .04 to .09 seconds.
• Most people are uncomfortable with silence. Most people make it less than 10 seconds before asking a question or saying something.
• The average person hears between 20,000 and 30,000 words during the course of a 24-hour period
• People are distracted while listening about 75% of the time.
• An estimated 85% of what we have learned is through listening.
• It takes less than 7 seconds to decide if you trust someone or want to listen to them.
• After listening, most can recall about 50% of what was said. It's far less if we don’t like the person or subject. An hour later, it's at 20%.
• Less than 2% of people have had a class addressing how to listen.
• We listen at 125-250 words per minute and think at 1000-3000 words per minute. (What problems could this cause?)

Lesson:

This week we discussed “good listening” and the role it plays while being a creative thinker capable of working well with others. Many students who are gifted have a lot of great ideas they want to share. In order to do so effectively, they also benefit from learning how listening is a skill that can be learned with practice. Many of us (adults included!) are not explicitly taught how to listen well. 

We discussed how listening is an art form in its own right. It consists of positive body language, accepting your role as a listener, and reflecting like a non-judgmental mirror for the speaker.

Engaging our ears and understanding the difference between “hearing” and “listening” takes practice.

Optional exercises/journal prompts:

1. Play your favorite song and really focus on the instruments and words without letting your attention wander. Try to notice something you have never noticed before (even on the 100th listen).

2. Put on your favorite video/Youtube channel. Instead of watching it, close your eyes and listen. What do you notice?

3. Sit outside on a nice spring day. List the sounds you hear in the town or countryside around you.

4. Practice listening with an adult in a “staged” situation. Ask them afterwards how you did. For example, ask them to tell you about their idea of a “perfect day” or what they would do if they had unlimited amounts of money, or maybe their favorite thing to do in the summer. How will you know if the person felt really listened to or or not? What does giving your full attention feel like?