Perfectionism

Mini-Lesson Guiding Quotes:

“Focus on progress, not perfection.” 

“Striving for perfection and expecting perfection are two different things.” 

Mini-Lesson 1: Perfectionism

This week we explored the concept of “healthy perfectionism” and “unhealthy perfectionism” using two fictitious characters. Students were prompted to explore what beneficial striving and self-talk looked like in student 1 (this student tried very hard at what they did but understood they were a human bound to make mistakes each day). Then they were asked to process how shame and anxiety dominated the self-talk of student 2 (this student called themselves names and beat themselves up when they didn't get one hundred percent on everything). 

We also discussed how mistakes can lead to new learning. Being comfortable with making mistakes can lead to exploring more activities and broadening life experiences. As an additional activity, we looked at research regarding what perfectionism can look like at all five levels of Dabrowski's Theory of Positive Disintegration (see previous lessons).

Additional Thoughts: 

Research on giftedness has shown perfectionism performs many functions for an individual with high standards. One function includes complicating a task that is too easy (e.g. a student perfecting the shape of their letters because their spelling test isn’t challenging), while another unhelpful function includes procrastinating a challenging task full of vulnerability (e.g. a book that takes 25 years to write). Other functions of perfectionism include avoiding shame and hard to tolerate emotions inherent to deep emotional sensitivity.

With the help of a lesson from the Gifted Teen’s Survival Guide, students can continue making beneficial distinctions between aiming for perfection and aiming for excellence. Perfectionism expects us to perform like a machine. The pursuit of excellence is forgiving and full of self-respect while acknowledging we are human.

Using historical examples, we also discussed how mistakes can lead to new learning. Being comfortable with making mistakes can lead to exploring more activities and broadening life experiences. In other words, perfectionism can make life boring. That being said, certain aspects of perfectionism can be beneficial if directed wisely toward hobbies or career endeavors.

Go Deeper: 
Book: The Perfection Trap by Thomas Curran

Optional Journal Questions:
  1. Do you have any areas where you are more perfectionistic than others (i.e. music vs. sports)? What do you think that is about?
  2. What do you think of the “nature vs. nurture” debate concerning perfectionism? Does your perfectionism originate from the inside or from your environment? A little of both?
  3. Why do you think creative activities help people with perfectionism issues?
  4. Are any of the tips below especially helpful to you? Are any cringe-worthy?

Concerning the quiz and additional tips to go along with this lesson, please see the attachments.





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